so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
