They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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