so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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