ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
