she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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