Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
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Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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