I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
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He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
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I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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