Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
