Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
