i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
We're too hungover to prance.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize