There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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