Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
