I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
