pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
