The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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