I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
