Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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