i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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