i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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