dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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