I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
