put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Randomize
