i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
