I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize