Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
