I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
