is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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