jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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