My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
