What a fucking waste of an outfit
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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