I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
