Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
