Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
