So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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