my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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