were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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