So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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