i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
