This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
