I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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