She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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