I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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