I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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