Hey man sorry I got all grabby
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
