There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
