Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
