When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
being pregnant is like rehab
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
