So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
