she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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