all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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