absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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