Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
there was a trapeze. enough said
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
