im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
