I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
