First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
