Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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