If that was your dad, he is hot
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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