I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
