I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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